Black soles

News!
We closed the bar last night, so no more pulling pints for me. Due to the fact that we had to finish the barrel, the beer was freely flowing and everyone ended up slightly smashed, but it was nice. A good, carefree atmosphere.
Today we cleaned the kitchen, which took an age, but I survived with wrinkled hands, black feet and an aching back.
From now until friday I am on 'holiday', luckily the weather is beautiful right now, so I'm predicting a lot of beach time. Yesterday I tried bodyboarding, which isn't as easy as it looks, although I did get wiped out less than with a surfboard mainly because it's harder to get up enough movement.
Friday I believe I'm moving to Biarritz, which is kind of annoying because I have met so many cool people here...but I can always come back to visit I guess, it's only up the road.
It's still early days, having this on repeat is helping a lot...love her voice.






Oh and Han, are you okay? Message me or something, cos we haven't talked in more than three days and I'm worried haha!

'When I hit the bottom'

I scraped my knees while I was praying
And found a demon in my safest haven
Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything
Than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts

I wanna know what it'd be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
I'll turn it off, in all my spite
In all my spite, I'll turn it off

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're headed for a cliff
And in the free fall
I will realize I'm better off
When I hit the bottom

The tragedy, it seems unending
I'm watching everyone I looked up to break and bending
We're taking shortcuts and false solutions
Just to come out the hero

Well, I can see behind the curtain
(I can see it now)
The wheels are cranking, turning
It's all wrong, the way we're working
Towards a goal that's non-existent
It's not existent, but we just keep believing

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're headed for a cliff
And in the free fall
I will realize I'm better off
When I hit the bottom

I wanna know what it'd be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
I'll turn it off, in all my spite
In all my spite, I'll turn it off
Just turn it off
Again, again, again

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We're headed for a cliff
And in the free fall
I will realize I'm better off
When I hit the bottom

Turn It Off -Paramore

Well, I really am alone now. Time to figure out myself, who I am, what I want...
Its fucking hard.

I'm alive.

Cycling in wetsuits in the pouring rain
Cycling up hills to then feel the thrill of going down
Running into the ocean at full speed
Doing my own laundry
Pulling beers
Half surfing, half drowning
Muscles aching from trying so hard
Driving around at night with music on full blast, the wind in my face
Lying in the sun
Thrift store shopping
Random nights out to the 'pub'
Meeting people from around the world
Dancing crazily, no one caring
Discussions
Conversations
Laughing long into the night

I feel free
For the first time in a long time, I feel happy
Here, alone, far from home
I'm actually living.

Get me that ark!

Trafic ferroviaire interrompu, inondations, glissements de terrain, rencontres sportives reportées : les fortes pluies - 200 litres d’eau au m2 en une journée - qui se sont abattues sur le Pays basque hier ont fait de nombreux dégâts. Le trafic SNCF est maintenant rétabli mais la ville de Bayonne porte encore les stigmates des intempéries qui ont balayé la région.
France-info

Basically, Bayonne (ten minutes up the road) is screwed. Most houses are under a foot of water, the ones nearer the river even more.
A guy staying here can't move into his new house now because it's flooded.
The trains have stopped, so the hostel in Biarritz is probably inundated.
It hasn't stopped raining for more than ten minutes in twenty four hours, this rain is heavy, a constant heavy downpour. You can't go out for two seconds without getting soaked.
Yesterday, in bored desperation we bundled in a van and headed to the 'Irish pub' in Biarritz, for hot chocolate whilst it poured down.
I woke up this morning with wet feet to find a nice leak above the end of my bed.
However, this is nothing compared to the tents swimming around outside. Poor guys.

Well now I'm going to try and surf, that's if my surfing friends haven't drowned in their tents during the night.

Joyeux Anniversaire mon amour

So, I have been in emotional land for maybe half an hour.
It's not so much because I miss my family, or want to be home. It's just that it is a very special person's birthday in fifteen minutes (French time) and yeah...sucks to not be there, to be honest.
Butttt what can you do?




So, to my darling Benjamin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
You are so beautiful and so precious to me. Even from across the ocean I send you a birthday kiss and all the love in the world.
You deserve a brilliant year ahead.
I love you

Tu connais le bucheron?

Yesterday, Ali and I took a thirty minute bus to St Jean de Luz from Biarritz. It’s a really pretty town in proper Basque country which I hope to return to at a later date for a more thorough inspection. It had a traditional atmosphere but not in an old way, in fact most of the shops were very alternative and ‘kitsch’, there were a lot of cool clothes shops which seemed quite reasonable, unlike the shops in Biarritz.
Ali and I wasted an hour or so in search of a decent boulangerie where I could get a pistachio macaroon. But to no avail, we returned to the youth hostel and spent the evening getting to know this French couple who approached Ali at the beach and asked ‘do you like beer’? He decided to bring them back. If it had been me, I would have suspected them, but apparently in France, especially in the south, people are very open and approachable, I hope that I can meet some more people like this during my stay. The conversations we had that night were amusing, mostly about the ‘bucheron’ aka the lumberjack in the guy’s room who snores so badly he sounds like he is choking. The bucheron is a scary looking man with yellowing teeth and a leering smile. Apparently he is after the pretty Brazilians here.
Today I lounged on the beach and am happy to say gained a small tan. I also did some washing which had dried easily in the gorgeous weather here. Overall, a good day.

Wandering around

My stay is progressing nicely enough here in Biarritz. Bar work last night was easy again, and a good way to meet the people staying and have a chat. I’m only working until ten now, so I have more evening time for emailing or chatting to the bar flies.
Slept really well last night after an exhausting day- ended up walking into Biarritz with two guys from the hostel, which took an age (an hour and a half!) we stopped in a cafe to have lunch and then walked around, went to see la Vierge (a statue of the virgin Mary on top of a huge rock), I can’t remember its exact significance from my last visit, but will definitely return on a nicer day to find out. Probably something to do with blessing the port/sailors etc. Ended up bussing back alone to get to work which was interesting, still haven’t worked out how they work exactly, I meant to ask the driver for one to ‘Cinq Cantons’, but apparently my pronunciation was ‘Cinq Chatons’ aka ‘Five Kittens’ oh dear!!
After that exhausting day, I’ve decided to chill out today. Maybe a trip to the supermarket later at most. If the weather is a bit rubbish tomorrow, Ali (hostel guy/Biarritz walking buddy) and I might go try and get to San Sebastien (Spaiiiiin) as I have Sat and Sun nights off!
That’s all for now.
Leave me something nice to read please?

La vie a Anglet

Well, I’m here. Sat in my mini ‘apartment’ writing this.
I arrived yesterday at half ten. Dominique was not at the airport straight away, so a mini panic ensued. Had he received my email? What did he look like? Where was he going to be? Luckily, Biarritz airport is pretty small, so when he eventually arrived (after about fifteen minutes) he found me easily enough.
What ensued was a confusing conversation in the car, when he told me I wouldn’t be staying at Biarritz, but in fact, at Anglet. I don’t know how far it is from Biarritz, but not too far I should imagine, maybe ten minutes by car. I was then handed over to Frederique, his assistant at the station, who took me to Anglet. He seemed quite nice, when I insisted he call me ‘Sam’, it was all ‘Ah Sam, pour les amis!’ har de har etc etc.
However, I have come to realise that the people here are very laidback, so laidback they may as well be asleep. Frederique gave me very little instruction as to what I would be doing, one minute I was meant to be working in the evening, the next I wasn’t. He told me to go relax and someone would come get me, but no one ever came and I lay in this anxious state, worrying if I should sleep or not. I did manage to catch about 20 mins light doze which left me feeling dazed and more tired than before. When I went to ask him some questions (aka, can I have a bin for my room? (!), where do I do my washing?, what would I be doing that night?)He looked me straight in the face and asked ‘Tu veux quelque chose?’ (You want something ?) In a way that made me feel like a needy child.
Maybe I am too sensitive, and they are just used to letting people do their own thing.
I will certainly be doing a lot of my own thing, whilst at Anglet I’m working half 7pm until 1am in the ‘Scottish pub’ downstairs. I have the entire day to myself, to walk around, read, try and make friends with people on holiday who will just leave the week after etc etc. Sigh.
When I woke up this morning, my first thought was ‘I want to go home’. I miss Ben, I miss the reassuring feel of home, I miss my family. I was so certain in my need to go back. But then, I don’t know how, but I battled it out with my insecure self. A mantra of ‘I can do this’ kept ringing in my head. And in the end I had to write myself a promise to solidify this feeling:
‘I will stick it out for two months. If, and only if by the 1st November I still feel homesick, unsure and unwelcome, I will leave.’
It’s signed and dated.
Now just to see if I can keep this promise to myself.

Here are some pictures of my digs, you see it’s not all bad, at least I have my own shower with hot water. I’m going to try and find the supermarket now and buy some small comforts, if it’s sunny later I might even pop down to the beach. One can but try.

Leave me a nice comment??
:)